Hi Michael,

Remember me from the other board! Im so glad you came over here! wink

I have to say, reading through your ordeal has brought me to times of fear, sadness, excitement and happiness all in a matter of an hour or two.

Im so glad that all went well with your Surgery and that you are climbing that hill and giving it all youve got. When I was little my dad worked for a company called MATRIX, (long since defunct) and he used to take me to MD Anderson with im to install and Service the CCTV Video cameras and equipment at their facilities. I agree their buildings looked somewhat dated but it was an impressive campus nonetheless. I remember he put in an ID Badge system and we made some test badges with my picture on them. I think youll find the Texas hospitality quite relieving in your time of need. I have to say even back then when I was 9 or 10 years old, I had a fear of the place and wondered if Id ever end up their. I understood what it was about even at such a young age.

So I guess Ill cut to the chase. Remember I told you about my ENT appointment on the 28th? Well I went and was so scared sitting there in the lobby KNOWING he was going to look at the reddish area on my tonsillar pillar and we would certainly be getting a biopsy that day... but to my surprise after sticking the scope down my nose and looking at my vocal cords, inspecting my mouth thoroughly and looking in my ears and at my tonsils, even as big as they were, he did not seem one bit concerned about any of it. And he was a younger guy that was impressed with my knowledge of terms like "tonsillar pillar" hehe... and came well recommended by friends and doctors.

Well for a while I was happy, but particularly tonight the fear has come back from a few things you mentioned.

For the past few weeks, even before the appointment, Ive noticed occasional pain and soreness in my neck muscles on the right side. It has lessened somewhat lately but sometimes its uncomfortable. It feels like it goes all the way down into my upper right chest and I fear it is Lymph nodes enlarging frown

In addition to that Ive had ringing in both ears, but particularly occasional ringing in the RIGHT ear, sometimes I get headaches at the right side back of my head, and now when I clench my jaw on the right side I hear a "rushing" type noise in my ear, kind of like white noise. I dont hear this on the left side. My right ear also feels congested and I feel like I am losing hearing out of that ear. Also if I open my mouth real wide I feel a discomfort sensation in the back right of my throat that seems to travel to my ear a little.

My jaw is also tender and if I press hard on it its a little uncomfortable.

So I guess at this point Im going to reschedule and get my tonsillar pillar biopsied since its still clearly red in some types of light compared to the other side (in direct bright light it looks similar to the other side). My tonsils are still big but he said not to bother them if they arent causing me too much pain or difficulty, but today I had some hoarseness again. Remember, Im 22! I have to say, if I do get up the guts to have that pillar biopsied, and it comes back clear, thats IT. It is what it is at that point and it can have me if it wants, I cant allow myself to be tormented over my health anymore. In one way or another health worries have eaten up over 1.5 years of my young life already.

You are such an inspiration Michael. I dont know whats going to happen to me over the next few weeks, but I only hope I can have the same resolve you have shown my friend...

Here for you,
Ian.

P.S. Theres a song I want you to listen to if you have a way to download it, if not just shoot me a message Ill get it to you. It's a song by Mark Knopfler called The Trawlerman's Song. Its all about picking up and moving on again (in this case a Shrimp Trawler boat that is being fixed up to go out again). Music helps me through alot of things... this song was really good when I heard it.