Hi Michael, as you have figured, a life-changing crisis like this can affect the dynamics of established relationships. Especially when the partner afflicted has always been the one who was 'the strong one'. Adjusting takes time, and counselling can help. Grief takes so many forms, there is your grief for the loss of your health and lifestyle, there is grief for the existing relationship dynamics .... typical responses are part of normal grief process, denial (this can't be/should not be) happening, so I will carry on as if it isn't and it will all go away ..... anger .... etc ... until a person is able to come to terms with the new situation and get on with what needs to be done. This is not a simple linear process but a rollercoaster, with swings from one stage to another and ups and downs. Is that as clear as mud? Straight up, your relationship with Seth seems to be experiencing a normal response to a crisis situation that demands a change in dynamics. There are counsellors out there trained to deal with it, and of course these guys on this forum. Hang in there, true love and rocky roads do seem to go together. You'll never know just how strong the bonds between you are until they have been tested. Remember, you need to look after you, for both of you. On a personal note, I am a divorced and now sole parent of five children (aged 8 to 20) and I came to accept years ago that I am the lynchpin of the family. Even though my decisions may, and often do! seem selfish to the children, I have accepted that I need to stay healthy, strong and sane for their sakes not just mine. I just hope that as they grow they will appreciate that one day. Best wishes and take care ... oceanangel