Hi Michael,
I wanted to reply to you earlier today but simply did not have the time. I think one of your problems is that you have seen so many doctors at so many facilties that your are functioning on information overload. To not do anything is absolutely foolish and no dr is even suggesting it.

I am glad you have come out of the the 'pity party'. Don't think that is where Seth wants you and if you think about it, if the shoe were on the other foot, you wouldn't want that either. You guys got a great lodge to run to now is time to get you back to healthy and on with your lives.

I would suggest, unless RO insists otherwise, to take your surgeons advice and have neck dissection and tonsil removed, followed by rads. I have had two neck dissections and there are almost no discernable scars. The trick is to have the best plastics guy available. Operating on eradiated tissue is bad especially recently eradiated tissue. I'm not medical, but I would be surprised if you still didn't need surgery even after radiation and chemo so would suggest you follow surgeons first suggestion.

I have always opted for surgery.I want this thing out of my body ASAP before it metastisis to someplace else. So if it were me, I'd be in recovery right now. Neck disections are not that bad, especially if they don't have to cut any muscle. I've had two and stillwear dresses with shoestring straps so your should not have to worry about disfiguration from neck dissection.
Radiation is the worst part of the treatment and may knock you on your back for a while. It also has some nasty permanent side effects like lack of saliva.

I think you need to pick the treatment center with the doctors you most trust ASAP rather than looking at several more options. If it were me, I'd get the surgery yesterday and move on to radiation in 6-8 weeks.

As to your question will they get it all the first time, who knows. That is certainly no reason to not not have treatment. As to worrying about if you will have a reoccurence, I see no reason to dwell on it. As Brian so aptly pointed out, we can get run over by a truck just as easily. If you will read my signature, you will find that I did indeed have a new cancer after 4 years of being cancer free. Not a reason to give up. Had surgery and back on track 8 weeks later.

We are survivors here and will help you through this. Get your treatment started NOW and stop looking for the miracle cure. Unfortunately at this point it still does not exist. You got a lodge to run and Seth is depending on you, so let's get you better ASAP.

Take care,
Eileen