Michael, Take a deep breath....We all have been exactly where you are now. I know it isn't easy in fact the worst time is where you are right now. I had the same nightmares same griping fears same oh-shit. Forget what you read. Those numbers are not for you. Many do survive and carry on a new and better life. Yes the "old life is gone. As for how you'll look if you go through treatments, click my user name and you'll see a picture of me after my surgery and radiation. While I am stuck with the looks I was born with, I don't think the treatments changed things too much.

Remaining positive is your biggest challenge. Your Doctors will take care of you. Choose a treatment, choose a doctor you like and don't look back.

Mark, 21 Year survivor, SCC right tonsil, 3 nodes positive, one with extra-capsular spread. I never asked what stage (would have scared me anyway) Right side tonsillectomy, radical neck dissection right side, maximum radiation to both sides, no chemo, no PEG, age 40 when diagnosed.