Michael,
My brother was diagnosed last year. In his case the doctors said surgery was not an option and they began radiation and chemo. Unfortunetly he was not at a comprehensive cancer treatment center. This is of utmost importance no matter how far or how much inconvience it imposses. Once we got him to one they scheduled surgery, but unfortanetly the cancer has returned. Anyway, my point is...If he had had surgery FIRST they could have followed up with chemo and radiation to kill any remaining cells. That was not an option for David since he had already completed his lifetime max of radiation. I say get in there and get every bit of that vile cancer out as soon as you can. Don't give it a chance to spread - because it will. It's like a weed taking over a garden. From what I've read and experienced, oral cancer is especially aggressive in young patients. As for disfigurment, please don't waste your time worring on that - you have plenty of other worries on your plate. My brother had is tongue, upper and lower jaw, floor of his mouth and part of his throat removed and he looked great after healing. There was only a scar behind his ear and along his neck that was not noticable and a tiny scar up his chin through the bottom of his lip and since he has always had a dimple there anyway, it was harldy noticiable. As for Seth, the best thing you can do for him is be strong. My brother has faced this disease with an unbelieveable amount of courage - after a year of treatment (and I'm talking some horrible experiences with chemo) he has never uttered a complaint. He has remained positive and even now, facing the final days of his life, continues to live EVERY moment, wanting to go and do things to stay busy. His strength is what has allowed me to remain strong. If he can handle this, I can as well. Your strength will give your parents and partner the strength they need to be there for you. Yes, there will be days of endless crying, days of high hopes, and many days in between. While my brother has never cried or waivered in front of us, I know he has with his wife. His little girl, who just turned five, drew a picture the other day and said, "This is my daddy crying." Although the words broke my heart, I was glad to know that he has released some of his grief through tears. You can be strong and cry, strong and be angry, strong and yet helpless. All of these emotions will come. This will be one of the hardest roads of your life. Take a deep breath, begin treatment and live each day. Your strength will make those around you strong and their strength will make you strong.
You will be in my thoughts,
Tonya