Jon, In a lot of ways your are in the same situation as I am. Alone in a new and different world, with many thoughts going thru your kind and no one close enough to discuss them. I really feel your pains and worrys. But you can survive abd go on. Just keep the positive thoughts and put the negative ones on the back burner. It would be nice to have someone to sit with you drinking a cup of coffee and the 2 of you making decisions as to what would be the best treatments and then comparing notes after the treatments were given. This is a rough disease and we need soemone to that is close enough to keep things on a personal one to one . You can handle it as I do, but it gets to be a very lonely feeling at times. This is a morning when I could use soemone to sit and talk with, but like you, I have noone. So I get busy and make the day pass without any advice but turn to the forums with help from our friends here who are so wise and understanding. These people are our sounding boards and friends. Jim