Christine - I'm sorry - for two reasons - firstly I completely missed this thread and truly wish I could have been here when you needed someone to vent to - though everyone here is so fantastic and supportive - I know my absence wasn't missed! Secondly I'm sorry about the passing of your husband. Sometimes they leave us long before their physical bodies are ready to. I had a palliative patient years ago who I nursed at home until she passed it was incredibly hard to watch her family suffer, and emotionally draining - I know through reading your prior posts how insanely hard for you it was. I am so glad your last few days were somewhat peaceful with him and amazed at how strong and wonderful you were through the worst of it. Losing someone you love is hard enough but when they are stolen from you in this way it's traumatic - the man you married is now with you and watching over you and no longer struggling. Hugs to you and many blessings - you are an amazing person.