we got him in a hospital bed now, the mattress cover is vinyl and they have provided absorbant pads to place under him. To me the paranoia is the worst. I have to give him his meds, and when he decides that I am no good, it's a LONG battle to get him to take anything I am offering, and keeping him focused long enough to gain trust has been a big challenge.

I had our bed hauled off today. It was soaked, and the box springs were ruined... I hate to think what I gave for that bed barely a year ago, but there was no way I would sleep peacefully on it again. Just another casualty of this damn disease.

For those of you not on my facebook friends, I'd like to share a couple of stories that happened this week.
First, my mom is planning to visit me tomorrow. As she was telling the people she works with the situation, a man I've never met asked her to give me a big hug... from my husband.
She tells me this over the phone, and I started sobbing so hard I couldn't talk. Totally freaked out my teenager. I convinced him I was okay, but remained quite weepy the rest of the night.

Then, today one of the gentlemen who hauled off the mattress, just looks at me and says "mercury is in retrograde, communication will be difficult and this is a hard time for crossing over. Don't take it personally." I literally had spoken two sentences to this man. It was bizarre, yet comforting as Matt has been unable to communicate for a while now.

No PEG anymore... what little fluids he takes in aspirate and cause major coughing. He tries to drink Ensure and that is the only nutrition at this time. He has no interest in it much of the time, and has to be reminded to drink.

It's coming. I hope for his sake it will come soon and peacefully.

Although, my son is going to spend spring break with relatives and will be gone a week. I would hate for it to happen while he is away.

I shall remind him to spend time tomorrow and say anything that needs saying before he leaves. I hope that he has peace.

Goodnight all, I have been having a terrible time sleeping in a bed alone, but my eyelids are finally droopy, and I'm going for it.

Love to all.

Christine