I am having a SERIOUSLY down night. I had a great day. I got out of the house, made a new friend, went to the mall, bought my step-daughter a b-day present, signed up with a gym, enjoyed my day.
I came home to the usual situation, linens soiled, husband confused, waiting on hospice aide to come give him a shower.
I put him in his chair so I could start changing the bed and the aide came in, helped me (shocker... she was the first one to offer to help ME)... then she took a verbal beating while trying to figure out if Matt did or did not want a darn shower. He ended up getting a quick wash over while sitting up as he was not cooperating.
The aide left me with some absorbant pads to put under him. OF course the first time he needs to urinate, he pulls the pad out from under him, and THEN goes on the bed and floor.
I just throw up my hands for the night. I don't have anymore clean sheets for the darn bed. I cannot get him to use the depends nor the pads they provided. He wont use his oxygen, he argues taking meds...

And for the last hour or so, I have been sobbing non stop over how much i MISS MY HUSBAND. This lovely day I had, and I didn't have anyone to talk it over with. I want to play cards again at bedtime. I want to argue over what movie we are going to watch.
I AM SO LONELY.