So, the day started on a rough note. He wasn't wanting to get up, so I had to put on my "mean nurse" hat and make him get going. Then we fought over meds because he wanted his morphine again too soon and I took the bottles away. He proceeds to put on a "then I'm not going" pout, so I tossed him the bottles and said, "whatever, take them all, what does it matter... just get in the **** car." He's using the walker and he lets me help him down our front steps and into the car.
20 min drive over to radiation clinic. He gets out of the car, takes two steps with the walker and fell back into my arms.
I lowered him to the ground easy enough, thank goodness I was there.
I had to lift him upright ease him back into the car and go inside the clinic for a wheelchair. Walking was no longer possible.
When we got home, I got his wheelchair to bring him inside, and at the steps, I had to pick him up and set him on each step.
I am SO going to be feeling this tomorrow.

Tomorrow morning, the CNA comes to help with his shower, then a social worker is coming by with power of attorney and advanced directives. I believe I will unload on him while he's here.
Maybe he will have suggestions.

I'm not sleeping worth a damn, even the meds I was given to help with it have stopped helping. Between the puppy cries at night and the cough Matt has had for the lasts couple of nights, I have been completely out of my head. I am almost ready to set up my spare bed in the family room so I can maybe get some sound rest.

Work benefits kick in tomorrow, so I'll get back to the doc soon, partly for my back which is long overdue for adjustments, and for my sleep.

I did get some 1 on 1 time with the radiation doc today and discussed the confusion and random thoughts and statements, he gets and MRI of the brain on Friday afternoon.
At least I will know if I am dealing with the narcotics or if it's met to the brain.
I told the doc, that I appreciated the action since the progression of his condition points to that area being a logical site for more cancer.
She asks, "are you a nurse" I said, No, I just read up on this A LOT!!!!

Going to try and finish the housework.
Daughter is coming over again tomorrow evening while I am working. Then I am off again on Friday.

Talk to you all soon. Thank you for all the hugs, prayers, and continued love and support. You all mean the world to me.



CG to my husband, Matt. Dx June 2009 Stage IV Oropharengeal SCC right tonsil primary with distant metastases. Rad to neck- Surgeries to lungs- Every avail chemo - ran out of options Jan 2012, called for hospice help Feb 2012, at rest March 19, 2012.