Christine - you are right, he does love you and it is so difficult for him to take in everything that is happening to him. I think it is just as you say - that it's something he thinks your can't bear. And that's why he rather you not be there when he talks to the hospice. He's probably afraid he'll break down or get some news or suggestions that will upset both of you. Men just don't like to appear weak in front of those they love. I would allow him what he requests. I know it's not the same, but there were many times when I would hide in the bathroom when I needed to make phone call re my son. I just didn't want him to hear the quiver in my voice that held back the tears while I asked about something re his care. It is such a sad and difficult journey that you are both on. Sometimes there are just no adequate or soothing words. Sometimes it's just a look, or a touch that can convey how much you really care.