I didn't have the time for others' pity, I was too busy feeling guilty about being less than I had been, about being sick, not able to swallow at all, walking around with a peg tube in my chest, carrying a feeding backpack, drooling, having to retire from my 22year bus driving job, because I could no longer enunciate clearly.
I know my squamous cell cancer is the result of my own lifestyle, no one else to blame, just me, so I didn't have anger about the cancer. Denial is what kept me from the surgeon's knife for an additional two years, but finally let him carve on me. I don't think he did a very good job, but I chose to let him cut me, he didn't force me.

That's the Beauty of personal freedom: you have it, you exercise it, you live it.
Of course, perhaps I am just 'Not Rational'.

Last edited by seattlepaul; 03-15-2012 10:04 AM.
69yo male, Steam Engineer, Me=4,SCC=0, loving wife, living life as it comes (no other option)
We are all born from Mother, but live and die alone.
Make the best of it, Mommie did all she could, daddy was just a guidance councelor, the rest is ALL up to you.
...and now, 3rd occurance: Surgery 5/1/12