Malka

Margaret said it very nicely so I won't repeat her points. While I agree with you that being a victim is not inspirational, I must have missed something in your posts as you don't write or act or sound like a victim.
I think that is exactly why your friend finds you inspirational: despite all you have been through, you carry on. Be kinder to yourself - it's one thing to be stoic, but even the Spartans who are the epitome of Stoicism prided themselves on being inspirational;
In 380 AD, a small Greek army, captained and comprised largely of Spartans and their allies, died defending the Pass at Thermopylae against the vastly superior army of Darius, Great King of Persia, the superpower of the day. I have always it both moving and thought-provoking that Thermopolyae, a defeat to almost the last man, is almost more famous that victories elsewhere these past 2,500 years or so.
The reason is they were warriors not victims despite losing their battle.
Charm