I wish there was something I could say that would just fix everything or just help a little. I'm sure the pain is affecting Matt's ability to be able to hang onto some measure of control when so much is out of his control and he can't help but lash out at someone he loves. I can see why he may not want to see the benefit that hospice could be since it might translate to him as giving up another measure of his control over his life. I have not been in your shoes, Christine - but my son and I did go thru a point where anytime I tried to touch or kiss him or hold him, it was too painful for him. Any sound, or light or movement hurt. And he would not eat. What helped us was when I took more of a "nurse from Hell" attitude to get him to eat. Right after yelling at him, I left so he would not see me crying uncontrollably all the way home. I sure hope someone else can weigh in on this because I would not want to suggest anything that could make things worse. I just wonder if Matt would take a suggestion of hospice help more easily from some other family member or friend - especially if it was mentioned as help for YOU?