Hi Patty,
I am so sorry about your recurrence and your family situation. I was my mom's caregiver when she had pancreatic cancer, and I ended up having to put a sign on her door saying "Not feeling well today. No visitors please". Then just lock the door and don't worry about it. YOU come first. Carolyn will have to be your advocate. You can't stress yourself out, she can deal with the family. You are right when you say that Ron and you seem to be in the same place. Just remember, you are not alone. We are thinking of you constantly. Please take care.
Lori