Hi Patty
The hardest job of a chief caregiver is also making sure that family and friends understand and abide by the wishes of the one person who matters,that of course is you and in my case it was rob.
He went through a spell where he didn't want to see anyone ,he didn't want to spaek to anyone,he wouldn't answer the phone and i had to stand between him and all the misguided folk who thought they knew better what he wanted and needed.This sort of news brings out the best and the worst,and certainly sorts out the true friends from the ambulance chasers who seem to thrive on other peoples dramas.As for families there was never a truer phrase penned than "you can choose your friends but you can't choose your family"I hope your sister has a thick skin and a firm voice because she will need it.

This is your time Patty and how you spend it is up to you and no one else.Don't bow to peer prerssure about what you should do because no one has the right to tell you how to behave as they have NO idea how you feel,or what you want,but it will be up to your sister to make sure they know.
Rob wanted to say goodbye while he was at home and then come to yorkshire and die with JUST me.His family accepted he wanted to come here but then said we will come and visit at weekends and hsi sister wanted to come and stay.They just didnt get it.As it happened that didn't happen and we didn't get into a confrontation,but we would have done because he didn't want them turning up.Once he was in the hospice evrything changed and because he was pain free and relaxed he entertyained for england and was very happy to do so.
As for legal matters,he asked to get a lawyer come to the house,which i did and i left him alone while he gave her his instructions.He said he wanted me to be his executor which i declined as i felt it was best to leave everything to an independant leagal team who had nothing to gain and couldn't be accused of trying to influence his wishes.

Ultimately patty its your life and its your choice how it comes to a close.Tell the vultures to stuff off and let you do it your own way.

love liz