I know its not easy to get past everything you have gone thru. Try your very best to limit the 'what if' thinking only a few minutes then move on and think about other more positive things. Its not possible to go back and change what has already happened so thinking about changing the past is not productive at all, it will just make you worry more. You can ask at your treatment center what resources they offer for cancer patients. Many facilities have therapists to speak with. Going thru the horrors of fighting cancer can cause many patients to need a hand in coping. Some take meds, others talk it out. Both ways are tools to help you get past this bad spell. Try making small goals to look forward to. Everybody needs a reason to get up in the morning.

Good luck with everything!!!