Late this afternoon I meet with Dr. Wadsworth of Emory Univ. He explained that if I did not have surgery (I am going to have it) my time left would probably be 6m0 to a year. He said I am going to loose my tongue but if he finds any can be saved he will save it. Untill he begins the +-12 hr surgery he will not know whether I will loose my voice box butit is a good possibility that I will. Tomorror we start preparation for surgery, scheduling, which will be soon.

Charm2017

I understand that radiation and cisplatin is the way to go. I just wonder if I would have gone somewhere elese perhaps they could have mapped things better better and perhaps used better equipment although I do not know that they did not use the best equipment avaliable. I am only Stage 3, why did things not work and come back so soon with such dreadful potential cure requirements. Nothing really matters now-I just wonder as I look back.

As I look forward I wonder, more importantly now, how to find goals and become ambitious again toward the future. I feel wothlessness and a lack of purpose coming.