If I found that someone I loved had such a serious illness and had not trusted me enough to share the information with me so that I could either worry, pray, or help, I would be terribly insulted. I loved Charm's article, as I have had this philosophy for a long time: that to not allow others to help us when we need it is to reject a gift that they are trying to give us. It's a selfish act. You are suffering more than should be expected of you because of his irrational reaction to his illness. You are being expected to shoulder all of his care when there are others who could be supporting YOU and helping him.