Theresa

Here is something relevant from today's Washington Post advice column. I cut and pasted it for you
[quote]On letting people help you when you need it:

I remember years ago when my dad was in the hospital and my parents lived about a six-hour drive from me. Mom said I didn't need to come, she just wanted me to know he was there. (I had gotten very angry with them several months before because they didn't tell me until after the fact that he had been hospitalized.) I drove down anyway and spent the weekend, gave my mom some relief and got her to go home to sleep in her own bed. Before I left to go back home, she told me, "I didn't think we needed you, but I sure am glad you came." I'm thankful I didn't pay attention to that "we don't need you" foolishness.

A word to those people who don't tell their family or loved ones when they are seriously ill or hospitalized because they don't want them to worry: That is not fair to your family! People who love you have the right to worry; it's their decision whether to worry or not, and you are being cruel to deny them that right.

Still Missing My Mom and Dad After Many Years [/quote]

Here is a direct link to this article if you want to print it out to give to your stubborn cancer patient while still keeping your OCF secret. Fairness to family requires telling them you're ill
good luck