For the first time in 2 weeks- I was able to feel close to Brian. He had a bad day with the meds yesterday, but for whatever reason- was a little more accepting to me today. I was actually able to lay here with my head on his shoulder and have a conversation ( I know that sounds so small- but it is huge compared). A few smiles were shared and even a kiss goodbye before he left for home. For the first time in days- there was at least a signal that he still was alive emotionally. Thank God for small blessings!! How were these small moments taken for granted before the big word came into all of out lives? I look back to just a few short weeks ago when all seemed well and we could spend whole weekends in absolute bliss. The hunting trips we had planned for mid-October seem unlikely now. The cruise has been cancelled. The things that seemed so big seem like a long ago memory now and are overshadowed by just a simple half hour of sweet conversation and a kiss goodbye. Wow- this monster really changes life in a hurry.