Suzanne, Methotrexate is an oral form of chemo. I should have stated that he was rejecting conventional chemo and radiation. I am having a very hard time with the fact that he will not allow the ccc he is working with the educate him. If they start to try to talk to him about the possibility of it spreading, where it could spread and what that would mean-- he walks out. He does not want to know his stage, the statistics or anything. I do not think he realizes that the precious time he is wasting could allow this to spread to his jaw, tongue or worse and that the results could greatly affect his quality of life- even if he wins the battle. He has developed infection around three of his fingernails this week- which he plans to lance himself. I will say STUPID, IGNORANT, SELFISH so that all of you do not have to. I am so mad today that I could scream. Without this forum to vent a little of my emotions, I do not know how I would make it. I love this man dearly- but lately it is like he hates me for being the only one who knows. It is like the fact that I know makes me guilty for the disease. He did not want to confide in me---I just kept pushing for information because his actions toward me change dramatically for no apparent reason. He turned cold and was withholding all affection (still does) without any reason I could see. He finally gave me the reason - his diagnosis- and said he did not want me or anyone else involved. He intends to do this "HIS WAY". Am I wrong to feel frustrated? I feel like if I continue to allow him to treat me this way because he is ill, it will continue after his recovery. I am so confused. Any advice is appreciated. Teresa