Margaret, This forum is my main outlet. I have confided in a co- Habitat for Humanity worker who has been to MDAnderson and is a cancer survivor of 6 years. Brian does not know that I have shared this information and would be livid if he did. He does not even like me getting on the forum. He is EXTREMELY private.
It is hard watching him slip away, but I have no choice but to be supportive. What scares me now is that he has so many signs of it spreading to the brain. The clumsiness, dizziness, loss of concentration, fever after chemo, memory loss, double vision, headaches, personality changes. He has every symptom except seizures (and may have those, as we do not live together).
His objective is to live until next July (when his life insurance will kick in). I am hoping that he is still with me and functional Christmas. I do not know if it is ok to mention religious beliefs here, but I am a Christian and believe in miracles. That said, I also realize that God's plan does not always include a rescue for his people (10 of the 12 disciples were executed). If at times I seem cold or too accepting of this, please know that loosing him is killing me, but between accepting God's will and Brians choices - the only choice is leaves me IS acceptance. I love this man deeply, but I cannot MAKE him live. Thanks so much for taking this time with me.
Teresa