I agree with Anne-Marie. The last thing you are is a failure lady. You are a warrior and perhaps the battle is coming to an end. I haven't been through it and pray I won't, but I'm thinking it is down to the final decisions and that might include a facility where they can keep him safe. You can still go there and be with him when you aren't working, and maybe you can get the work done faster and be with him on a more quality basis if you aren't always having to play catch up. He will be clean, hydrated and protected and maybe able to communicate more clearly. He will fight you on it, but you have to do what you know is right for both of you, but especially for him. It sounds like he is beyond making rational decisions...that's why you got the directives. Have him go by Ambulance if he's really angry about it. Call them after a fall.
Praying for you sister. So sorry. Please know we are all here.
Love ya',
Kathy