((((Anne-Marie))) Thanks lady.
And all of you!

I had a terrible day yesterday, his kids came over and he was just brutal! Acted like I do NOTHING to take care of him. At one point he even said "my caregiver hasn't fed me yet"... He'd been awake thirty minutes and I spent that just trying to get him to pee and put clothes on him! He was yelling at me over stupid stuff and eventually I just walked out. Wandered the local grocery as long as possible before coming back.
I was ready to tear into him for treating me that way, but I think his daughters might have done that for me. He didn't ever actually apologize, but he was civil, and sometimes that's as close as it gets.
His mind is slipping a bit. Or mine is. Who knows. We have a mystery prescription pick up/drop off that neither of us remember doing. Although I recall seeing him come home from radiation two days with scripts, he only remembers doing it once. Adamantly, HE DID NOT do it.
I just said, okay, I guess I could be losing my mind, whatever.
His strength is basically GONE. I dressed him for his daughters visit in a sweatshirt and shorts, and after about 5 minutes he told me the shirt was too heavy to move in.
I said "OMG! Butch up will you! It's just a f(*(^* sweatshirt!"
----(classic denial, I want my husband to function!!!)
He then said that it might be time for me to go because things will only get worse.
I wonder if hearing confirmation that he has so little time left has caused him to just sink into it. do you know what i mean? like he's taken the last deep sigh and is just waiting for the inevitable.
It's really REALLY difficult to watch his decline. It's been several weeks since his hip has been a bother, but now he's barely able to walk, fights to maintain bladder control, I am SO ready to get some help from hospice, if nothing else just in the medical equipment that they can bring to help him get around and take care of daily duties easier.
He seems determined to wait for some reason.
Can I call the doc about it?
I've asked him to sign medical power of attorney forms, but he's always had to have a grip on things, he couldn't let me have that kind of control.
I will make it a point to call his doc and ask, as well as talk to him, if I can find him awake and lucid for long enough.

Thanks for listening.
Christine