Short answer: YES! Please, Please feel free to vent any and all times that you feel the need - especially when you cannot share with those close to you at home. Chances are there is someone going thru the same pain and sadness and frustration that you are. Fortunately, for CG's and survivors, this forum is "a la carte" where you can choose those posts which will be most helpful or comforting. You can choose to hold off on those that may for a time, be too scary and painful to even consider. And we will all understand. When sadness is shared, it softens the pain, just as when happiness is shared, it increases the joy. I have not been where you are now, but when I first came here to OCF, there were two unforgettable women who have been where you are now: Cookey (Liz from UK) and JAM (Amy from Arkansas). If you look up their posts/blogs, you will see the honest, raw emotion in all its ranges, all mixed in with the love and compassion they had and how they found the strength to go from day to day and share what they had with the rest of us. Stay with us. It does help.