It is interesting how lady1- an unregistered user - just jumped into a conversation in the middle about Erbitux - something we've all discussed frequently on here and started attacking people here on the forum. I'm not sure if she'd posted other things or even told her story but it just seems odd. I'm sorry she feels that way I can't remeber if she'd posted anything prior to that but the conversation initially started as a sharing of info about the drug between various members who've had both good and bad experiences with it. So I don't know that the intent was to scare her away at all, rather just reply to her posting.
As for heather I'm sorry - i totally understand she's worried and upset and has a lot at stake here. I know she has young children and a husband she's afraid for. I also know she feels she made the best decision for her family, and husband. And I truly support her in that - but when you seek out support of some of the people who've been through it then you have to understand that you're going to hear the good and the bad, because we've all seen both. And after a while here you see a pattern. Things that work, things that don't, and learn to recognize signs. One of the things I have noted is that people who seek out the best treatment at the best hospitals tend to do better - this is why the people on the forum say this repeatedly - its advice that we all impart because it's so important. What a person chooses to do with it is up to them absolutely. I just guess most of us don't want to deal with losing another member and having to hear the regret of... I wish we had gone here instead.... I think we were all trying to help - my initial response to her was that if she was close to mdanderson that was the best hospital to be treated at. She had said something about convenience etc... This is why I mentioned it. I know a few of the other replies she got were more harsh but because she was already so upset I don't think anything would have helped. I know she needs to feel secure in the decisions they've made. But the reality is, cancer does that, it plays with your emotions, pulls the blanket right out from under you and makes everything uncertain. So in seeking out the emotional security of a medical professional you trust sometimes we put blinders on. And that is the unfortunate thing. You have to feel comfortable in the decisions you've made - absolutely - but you also have to advocate and question as well. I'm glad a few of you are still talking to her and I'm glad she's around. It sounds like she needs a lot of support. Best of luck to her and her hubby.