Maria,

In Heather's case, no one shouted before she got upset. We were all just suggesting a second opinion and when she indicated that she felt attacked, I immediately explained that she needed to understand the history that we had all seen and why we were so passionate and also that I had experienced a little of the "feeling second guessed" when I first came to the board but realized that it was an effort to help me. Several posters tried to explain why we were so concerned especially since we were reacting to her word "easier."

If you go back and read the entire thread, you will see that the more "passionate" discussion came after we were attacked for being heavy handed.

I think you are correct in saying that some of this was due to inexperience, particularly on this board and that is why I chimed in so quickly to try to tell Heather that we were just concerned ...not attacking her personally.

I think we all want her husband and anyone else that makes contact here to have a good outcome(s) and that in the end
we really do care a lot.

Deb


Deb..caregiver to husband, age 63 at diagnosis, former smoker who quit in 1997.
DIAGNOSIS: 6/26/07 SCC right tonsil/BOT T4N0M0
TREATMENT START: 8/9/07 cisplatin/taxol X 7..IMRT twice daily X 31.5.
TREATMENT END: 10/1/07
PEG OUT: 1/08
PORT OUT: 4/09
FOLLOWUP: Now only annual exams. ALL CLEAR!

Passed away 1/7/17 RIP Bill