It's such a relief to have found this place. We had a very nice escape since last night but now at home I can see both our moods shifting. We are calmer but I still get that punched in the stomach feeling.
Reading the posts here I'm trying to get a better attitude of understanding we may be facing a long process and we will need to have our wits about us. Blind panic doesn't help. Nonetheless it comes and goes.
Tomorrow is the MRI and the day we will also call to make appts with other DRs. We are completely sure that anyone who is more nervous than us when presenting news---does not inspire confidence.
So, a few more questions(I am trying to do searches before I ask so people don't have to repeat themselves. I know when you are on a board for a long time it is tiresome).

1. If the DR was so sure of node involvement on both sides should we have requested a needle biopsy immediately? should we be requesting one now or will the MRI serve the same purpose.
2. how common is it for oral cancer to spread to other parts of the body(the literature confused me on this). I get that the node involvement is common but what about to major organs?
For example, I noticed that Brian said he had bilateral cervical metastasis. I wasn't quite sure what that was and I always associate the word metastasis with spreading through the body.
3. I know skin cancer is somewhat easy(compared to other cancers) to diagnosis through sight. Is that true with this also? Is it often very recognizable? Perhaps that's why this Dr was able to tell us with such certainty.(still don't like his style though). Although we spoke to an MD friend of ours and she was very surprised we were given such a dx without the lab report(and I noticed folks here emphasizing that as well).

I find it amazing how easy it is to get missed with this. As I mentioned earlier Dave went to the Dr because he had this huge(and I mean huge) gash in his tongue. Since he stopped smoking(the second the Dr told him too but only 4 days ago) the gash(for lack of a better word) has started healing and receding. Given what it is now I don't think he would have had it checked out. We might have waited to see what happened and as it continued to heal(assuming it does) just forget about it. Is that common???