Susan --
Welcome to OCF. Since you are in NYC, you may want to contact the
head and neck cancer team at
Memorial Sloan-Kettering. It's one of the top two cancer centers in the US (the #1 position in the US News rankings switches between it and MD Anderson in Houston), and several people here have either been treated there or gotten second/third opinions from there.
I don't know whether you can book an appointment until you have gotten a definitive diagnosis, but you can at least find out now
how the system works and what the doctors there will need.
I wish you and your husband all the best. And keep coming back -- everyone here has been there, done that and can answer any question you have (or know where to go to get it answered!).
Catherine -- thanks for the kind words!