It does seem that when both members of the "survivor couple" come on this forum, it is more the exception than the norm and usually it is either the caregiver or the survivor. In my own experience, my son only came on very briefly, saying it was too worrisome for him to hear about what others were going through. I didn't push it because he was already suffering depression and in therapy for that and I so wanted for him to be able to get through his surviving the best way possible for him. For me, the fact that he did not come on here was an advantage in that I could express myself honestly, I could cry and be frustrated, knowing others would understand and I didn't have to worry about how I was holding it together, hiding my fears from him. He did get lots of help through all the posts that I made copies of for him to read. Whatever works for each of us is what helps us all get through this journey. Charm - you know we are all with you and Bev in this latest fight. Sending hope and prayers and positive vibes your way.