Charm - I am so sorry to hear your news. You asked "Any suggestions from you caregivers out there on what I can do to help ease my wife's pain& worry?"
I find that it's also impossible to NOT think about things ... but that it is possible to replace what one is thinking about. A project that you could work on together might be useful (besides your next treatment, which, while a project you will be doing together, it not likely to be fun). If you are doing something together that makes you both happy doesn't make the shadows go away - but they remind you that the sun is still there.
There is a song that refers to the happy, carefree days of youth. Youth is long-gone, carefree along with it - but a quiet happiness and peace is possible. I find poetry to be helpful in coming thru the long tunnel.
My very best wishes to you both.
Maria