Cheryl, wish I could help you. Are you keeping Doug at home or is he able to go I to the Hospice for full time care with you staying with him? Is Hospice giving you a nurse 24 hours at home? Please ask them for more help. You should just be his wife now. Not his nurse..
Oral cancer is not a nice way to die. I truly am so sorry.
Keeping you both in my prayers,
Tammy

Caregiver/advocate to Husband Kris age 59@ diagnosis
DX Dec '10 SCC BOT T4aN2bM0 HPV+ve.Cisplatin x3 35 IMRT.
PET 6/11 clear.
R) level 2-4 neck dissection 8/1/11 to remove residual node - necrotic with NED
Feb '12 Ca back.. 3/8/12 total glossectomy/laryngectomy/bilat neck dissection/partial pharyngectomy etc. clear margins. All nodes negative for disease. PEG in.
March 2017 - 5 years disease free. Woohoo!