Cheryl,
I'm so glad you finally decided to reach out. You will find much support and love here.
I'm at a loss for words. You have so much physically, emotionally and mentally on your plate.
I don't know if there is much you can do to change your husband and what he will and won't accept, but you can change some things for yourself. Have your friends come visit you. Perhaps take short walks around your neighborhood yourself and with friends. If you can afford it, hire someone to clean hour house for you.
Not sure if any of those suggestions help you, just really wanted to respond and let you know the OCF family is here for you.

Nancy (53 at dx)
Metastatic SCC. Stage III. HPV positive with occult primary. N1, no ecs
7/1/11 - L-Selective neck dissection. Tonsillectomy. All clean. No rad, no chemo.
5/29/13 - Found primary
7/3/13 - TORS
7/8/13 - Emergency Surgery/Blood vessel burst in throat
8/9/13 - Peg in
9/3/13 - Radiation starts 30 IMRT, 60gy BOT, 56gy both sides of neck
10/14/13 - Radiation ended!
11/12/13 - PEG out!