Cheryl - Please get some help for YOU! Lots of caregivers get depressed and anxious to the point where there seems to be no way out. Call your doctor or Doug's doctor (or have someone call for you) and tell them what your are feeling and what's been happening to you both. There are meds that can help you cope. During my son's treatment, I reached a point where I thought I would just explode with everything I was worried about. I happened to be in my car driving and just made it over to a parking lot where I had to take several deep breaths before I managed to call my doctor and then drive home. The meds won't change the situation, but they can make it easier to cope. You need to take care of You, Cheryl so that you can continue to be the awesome caregiver you are for Doug.