I fully understand not wanting to know. I always want to know everything, but have searched the web with such trepidation regarding my husband's throat cancer. I also have to spoon feed him what he needs to know - he can only listen to a little at a time. I feel bad when I have to keep him out of the loop, but if I give him everything at once (including what the doctor already told us together), he gets overwhelmed.
Cancer is never in our control - it is always the unknown - always the enemy. We are new at this and our feelings are all over the place.