Wow! - I am so grateful for all these wonderful, unique personalities, but as for the original question "Why isn't the patient on OCF?". Men and women are just different. Men like to be in control, be Right, not have to ask for directions or appear weak. Women like to talk, get details, see the big picture, nurture, and don't mind if they are weak sometimes. When my son was first diagnosed, he did come on this site, but not for long. It depressed him and made him sad to see what was happening to others and could happen to him. He got on only when I asked him to comment on something that would help another person. I know the horrid feeling I had when I first had to look up what I needed to know to help my son and was so afraid of bad news. When we were going through the worst of his treatment, there were times when I was glad he would not be reading what I was worried about. I was able to be very honest with my comments so that I received the much needed information. We were both helped because I printed out info and left it around for him to read. This way the information he got was not his mother telling him what to do, but something he learned for himself vicariously, thus feeling more in control. . . which men like, right? There are always exceptions of course - some men have the added advantage of having some nurturing qualities that women have. And some women also have the added qualities that men have like being in control, taking charge and getting things done. So hurray for all our unique and wonderful qualities!! (Sorry this is so long, but I am a woman.)