Sandy,
Any good counselor would suggest to you to respect his feelings - and we are all "allowed" to "own" our feelings (it's the only thing you CAN own, really)- that is a God given right. From my counseling training, I can guarantee you that if you don't respect his feelings it will not work.

Instead of trying to fix him, why not seek a CG support group so you can get fixed. I know that you mean well and have the best of intentions but sometimes you just have to bite the bullet.

My wife never came to the forum for help as my CG, but did find books, took detailed notes, drove me to virtually every appointment and put up with my craziness for over a year (and still is although to a lesser degree). I am also in the medical device industry and had well established relationships with many health care professionals going into this.