Wow, Charm...that was quick! J is much like Emmett, sometimes like Robin. I am much like Cookey and somewhat like Karen...but, again we are all individuals. What you are looking for isn't going to fit neatly into the box you planned for it. It is a messy disease that involves individuals. There aren't just 3 reasons...there may be 30 or 300. Cookey is right...wise up. You three men are proactive. Your stubbornness and your singleminded approach to this disease have served you well. What you don't understand is not everyone has your will, not everyone is a fighter, not everyone is you.

I hope you are not intimating that caregivers are only here by default--or worse, not welcome here. OCF is a valuable resource. I have learned a great deal. I have also broadened my life lessons of compassion, forgiveness, and acceptance.

Why should you even ask if we would even want the patient to be here? That question seems rather inappropriate. I can't think of any reason why a CG wouldn't want their loved one to be here. I certainly think it is a great resource for all of us.