Hello everyone, thank you for all your kind words of encouragement. Last Tuesday, I went with my fiance to see two of his doctors - one for his chemotheraphy, and the other was for radiotheraphy. Tuesday was the last day for both, and according to the doctor who does chemotheraphy for my fiance, she thought it was best to discontinue the last two treatments because she thought that his condition and the amount of the dosages would make no difference. At first I was thinking if she was right, but I looked over at my fiance and saw how tired, weak and just sick he was, and I knew that she was saying the right thing. Nevertheless - I can't give up hope just yet. Then we went to his last session of radiation, and we were both excited for this part to be done. In fact, I told him that when he is completely done, I would take a day off from work and we would just celebrate the entire day together, and I did just that. But after the radiation session was over, we had to go and see his radiologist. I never expect to hear anything positive or negative, no expectations - just the truth, because from there it is easier to know what to do next. The radiologist made it clear that the tumors inside my fiance would definately come back and kill him, and that they have no way of saving his life. No more suregery because they have already done enough extensive surgery on him, no more radiation or chemo because both has done a lot of damage, including damaging his new tongue and his ability to speak.

I was so upset when they told us this, I mean it was the truth, but sometimes the truth just hurts. So like always, I am here trying to be this tough girl by his side, and I couldn't help it but just cry. But after that day, I thought about everything - everything me and my fiance have shared up to this point and everything everyone has said to me, including all the advice and words of encouragement from you all. I went back and forth with thoughts of is this really it? I mean can I really sit here and accept that? Sometimes we all have to face things in life that we never expect to face, and sometimes even when we have to face it, we find a way to conqure it. Me and my fiance have had a lot of ups and downs, not with each other - with trying to make it through this life together - and if I tried to explain that story it would take forever. But no matter what the struggle has been, we make the most out of what we have and we find a way to get happiness from it.

Well the next day, I was off from work and happy that I was going to be able to spend time with him. At his house, I was looking around at everything and thinking to myself that I have to do something, I can't give up hope - I won't give up hope that he is going to be ok. I have had people tell me to learn how to accept the circumstances and that one day I will move on, but call me crazy or anything else, I refuse to beleive that this is the way it is going to be. For 8 years he has been my strength when I was down, my joy and my best friend. So that day off together, I gave him a massage, drew him a bath, made sure he ate and took his meds, and made him laugh and relax for the entire day. And you know what, he said that was one of the best days he had - and that just pushed me even harder to help him fight this.

I know how I feel inside right now, and some people might read this and feel sorry for me that I am not getting the message or something. But no matter what anyone thinks or says, I love my fiance and I can't give up on him, I won't. In six weeks the doctors said they would do an MRI to see where the existing tumors are, and give us a prognosis from there. But you know what, things aren't physically in my hands - the only thing I can do for him is be his strength, joy and best friend and I can also pray, pray really hard for a miracle to happen.

So I guess this post is all about letting you all know not to ever give up, and to stay strong. May God bless all of you, you are all in my prayers and thank you all again for everything.

I don't know all of you personally, nor have I ever seen you, but for the time I have been posting on this site, you all have given me a lot of hope. For anyone who reads this, I just have a request - if you could just say one prayer for him - his name is Oudom Vong - surgery done on October 31, 2006 - prognosis in six weeks. If you have a moment, if you could just say a prayer for a miracle to save his life. People say two heads are better than one, I also believe that the many hands that join together in prayer can help to make a difference. For those of you who do read this, thank you for taking the time.