Since my last post, I got a lot of good advice from all of you. In regards to my boyfriends anger problems, I have contacted his surgeon and made him aware of it, and asked for him to speak with a councellor. I know that isn't something my boyfriend wants to do, but I am looking at him from the outside and seeing that he does need someone other then myself to talk to. His tantrums have calmed down, and thanks to the chemo he is finally getting some sleep.

The new bump on his jaw bone was something I was worried about, we had to wait for the biopsy results and the MRI to come back. So they stopped the radiation treatment temporarily because they wanted to do a CT scan. In the meantime, his radiologist had informed him that he has three new tumors: one on his jaw, one behind his nose, and one in his throat. That is such upsetting news before Christmas, he is a fighter and keeps pushing hard. They also informed him that they have to increase the dosage of radiation, and that would mean that speaking and eating would probably not be possible in the future.

Even though I was so upset by this news, I didn't cry - I just felt angry. Why him, why now - I just don't understand how all of this works. Especially since he just proposed to me and it just seems like after a little high, we have to come back down to a low.

I just keep praying, and wondering within myself if it is possible for him to survive this. Only a miracle is what I am hoping for, he is such a wonderful person, I don't want him to go thorugh this anymore.

Sorry everyone, not really happy today - just wanted to vent. I would ask him to come online and do the same, but he says that he doesn't feel like doing anything. I hope you all have a merry christmas, and enjoy your holidays. God bless you all.