I think this is a hard situation for both of you to deal with, and yes there are additional side effects from the radiation ahead for him. It is understandable that he would get depressed when the reality hit him but he should also talk to someone about it and consider medication for that before it gets worse. He needs to keep some perspective to get through the next phase of his treatments.

Have they discussed rehabilitation with him at all? It may give him something positive to focus on for the future. I had heard at the University of PA about a case of a young woman patient who had a tongue prosthesis after her treatments that worked well but I don't know anything about it. Did they do reconstructive surgery using a flap?

Are they recommending he try swallowing or that he use the PEG tube? Jack was kept totally on the tube feeding for the first month after surgery to allow the incisions to heal at the base of the tongue.

There is no way to deal with this except to deal with it, but that does not mean either of you should tough it out alone. Medication, counseling, meeting other young cancer patients that have survived this and can help encourage him all play a part. It sounds like the medical team was very involved in his care, are they aware of this change in his mood? Talk to them about what is going on with him to see if they have recommendations. If they don't know about it they won't be able to help.

We're thinking of you both.
Regards JoAnne