Hello everyone, I'm back from one week of staying in the hospital to care for my boyfriend. I haven't had a chance yet to post until today - so I have much to tell.

For anyone reading the last post, it was by my boyfriend. OV is who he is, and I am BM - which stands for Bhavna Mistry. After he returned from the hospital, I showed him this site, I was hoping that he could find some answers for himself, and he did.

He got released early from the hospital, he had a whole group of nurses who really liked him, and they took such good care of him. He was really positive and strong in the hospital, he surprised all of us. He ended up spending his 25th birthday there, and so he begged to go home early. The medical staff had to make sure that he knew how to take care of his feeding tube and trache before he was released. He is such an amazing person, and he was able to learn everything so quickly, plus he showed so much improvement that he got released the day after his birthday.

As soon as we got home, he was so happy, but within a couple hours I guess everything started to sink in. He has become depressed since, and all he keeps thinking about is eating. Of course I am not in his shoes, but I can understand how something like this can make you feel so depressed. With 90% of his tongue removed, his chances of eating through his mouth aren't good, and speaking is difficult for him as well.

He takes food, puts it in his mouth and tries hard to taste it and swallow it. It is like torture for him, and me being there and seeing this, makes me feel so helpless. All I want is for him to get better, and focus on that, but his focus and attention is all on the fact that he can't eat and taste. He thinks he has made a mistake going through with the operation, and that he should have lived it out. I don't know what to tell him, because of course I want him to be happy and alive, but I never wanted him to suffer.

Next week he starts radiation, which from what I have read is tough and irritates the skin. Can radiation have worse affects on a person besides the skin?

Anyway, for now I just keep praying for a miracle, and I pray for all of you as well to get through your struggles. I never knew what cancer meant or how difficult it can be on a persons system. Now I know, and although it can eventually make you a strong person, it also alter your outlook and appreciation for life. I have that now, and I hope my boyfriend will too.