I'll tell ya - the caregivers have it much worse than we do - hard as it is to believe. Give him LOT'S of space. It takes time to work through these things. Maybe he should consider a support group for caregivers. Sometimes it is helpful to know that you are not alone.

It sounds like things are going to work out ok.

I did receive 8 months of LCT (Lay Christian Counseling) training several years ago (before the cancer adventure) and never knew quite why I took the course since my church uses only professional counselors. It was more of a "people helping" type of thing.

PS - watch out for those ultimatims they are never a good thing - multiple choices vs consequences and appropriate boundaries are a healthier way to approach this.