Nelie,

I am giving advice that I should take myself but as I am sure you know it is always easier to see from the outside.

All my life I have tried to look at things that at the moment seem so bad and wrong and try to imagine whatever good reason they might have for occuring. Down the road you might find that this was something that had to happen to give you a chance to have something else much more valuable.

The truth is I think he is a shit! Plain and simple and as I keep trying to tell my husband you need to live for yourself. From within you comes the will to live and that is where you need to reach now.

We have talked about this before when you have visited the island and you have showed amazing strength in your posts here. Hang onto that strength and lean on us and you will make it through. Your value in this world is determined by you and you alone and no one can take that away from you!

Hell, you are a New Yorker!! Born to be bold and tough so hang onto that and you will make it through this. As Amy so well reminded me yesterday, we can only control ourselves and sometimes we just have to let go of those things that we cannot control.

You are bright and witty and a wonderful support here. We have been lucky to know you. You are loved by people you have never even met and there are os many things out there for you to still experience. A friend of mine told me when I feel the need to kick the crap out of someone or something to get a baseball bat and beat the shit out of a tree. Doesn't help the tree much but it does wonders for me.

We are all here whenever you need us. If you email your phone number around many of us will even call you for a chat. I would come and visit but I suffer from a rare disease called southern bloodfreezeitis that prevents me from crossing the Mason-Dixon from September through May! (HEHEHE) But we are always just a keystroke and mouse click away sp HANG IN THERE!!!

You have an army of support behind you 24/7/365!

With Love Always,
Cindy


Caregiver to ex-husband Harry. Dx 12/10/04 SCC stg 3, BOT with 2 nodes left side. No surg/chemo x4 /rad.x37(rad comp. 03/29/05)Cisplatin/5FU(comp. 05/07/05)-T1N2M0-(cancer free 06/14/05)-(12/10/06) 2 yr. Survivor!!!