The correct phrase is why are "people" like this. My second wife was an unreformable alcoholic, and it eventually after years of joint counseling etc. got to the part where I just had to get out of Dodge City. We divorced and it was painful. But don't think that alcoholism has a preference to men or women as your last sentence would indicate... it's an equal opportunity deal, not exclusive to men. He obviously hasn't hit rock bottom yet. The only thing you can change now is you and your situation. The ball is really in your court not his.