I know how you feel. My husband was diagnosed with SCC of the soft palate on 11/20/01, since then he has had surgery 3 times and two rounds of radiation.
He currently drinks about 12-15 beers a day and smokes two packs of cigars a day! He refuses to see what this is doing to his body.
He has an appointment with his ENT on 12/17 to discuss his options since this last round of radiation did not work the way they had hoped.