I thank all of you for your help. Danny Boy, you know I love you too! And Dee, you are my sis! Love runs deeper here than in my "real" world. I don't know what I would do without you two, especially....and really don't want to even think about it.

You've all inspired me so much. I know this is going to be hard. I have to walk out on the only man I've ever loved.........but, if I can't get anything positive for the boys in return, than I've lost it all. It's way beyond me, and my feelings. Now he's messing with the children.

We will be going to North Carolina the week following Christmas to visit his sister, oldest son, Mother etc. I've already given them the low-down on his condition and they have agreed to confront him while I take the kids to a friend's house a couple of hours away for a night or two. I have to say that this is his final chance at entering rehab on his own. From the preliminary information that I have, this is the only choice that I have in Maryland. Yes, I can call the cops, and they will take him away for a "cooling-off" period, but unless he physically hurts me or the boys, there is nothing I can do, but leave, and tell the judge that I didn't desert him, but rather left because I was in "fear" of being hurt. If I don't follow the protocal to the letter, he can fight me for my boys. And ABSOLUTELY NOTHING will take my babies from me.

God bless you all, and if I can't post between now and then, please know that your positive feedback has given me the strength to do what has to be done.

We won't go hungry.....we will work through this one way or another.

Mandi