HI Mandi, Newer member here but wanted to add my 2 cents. You've gotten excellent advise. You can't make him stop drinking/smoking. He is the only one that can do that. I'm married to a former alcoholic/drinker who DID quit after 40+ years. Yes we had discussed it but nothing ever happened. It had to be his decision and when it the time was right for him, he did it.

Think Ann Landers or Dear Abby (one of them said it), are you happier with him in or out of your life? Yes it may be hard for you and the kids but it sounds like the kids are already paying for it...living with an alcoholic who "blows up" is no picnic. You all deserve better....