I bet it is overwhelming trying to deal with his behavior and alcoholism on top of cancer and all that can take out of the patient AND the caregiver. Maybe a shock is what he needs, sometimes we don't appreciate what we have until we don't have it any longer. Maybe some time without you and the boys would make him come around. It also might make him think more about his health and stop the smoking and drinking. I wish I had some brilliant advice for you, I can't imagine dealing with all this on top of cancer. Take care,
Minnie

SCC Left Mandible. Jaw replaced with bone from leg. Neck disection, 37 radiation treatments. Recurrence 8-28-07, stage 2, tongue. One third of tongue removed 10-4-07. 5-23-08 chemo started for tumor behind swallowing passage, Our good friend and much loved OCF member Minnie has been lost to the disease (RIP 10-29-08). We will all miss her greatly.